In this case they involve the inauguration (”Immaculation,” according to Limbaugh) of the The One, The Messiah, The Savior…in truth an angry man-child who, by a fluke of history, became President of the United States. I have to admit that these are among the most craptacularly ass-sucking quotes I have ever seen. I suggest you keep a barf bag handy. H/T to N. for the link.

The Coronation of the Messiah Award for Fawning Inaugural Coverage

Winner
Bill Weir (66 points)
“We know that wind can make a cold day feel colder, but can national pride make a freezing day feel warmer? It seems to be the case because regardless of the final crowd number estimates, never have so many people shivered so long with such joy. From above, even the seagulls must have been awed by the blanket of humanity.” — ABC’s Bill Weir on World News, January 20. [MP3 Audio (0:25)]

Funny thing is, those same people are still shivering. This is becoming the coldest winter in recent memory - in spite of Messiah’s insistence that the globe is cooling. But don’t expect the inconvenient truth of what appears to be global cooling to chill his ardor for Cap & Trade anytime soon.

Runners-up
Andrea Mitchell (63 points)
“What a day it was. It may take days or years to really absorb the significance of what happened to America today….When he [Barack Obama] finally emerged, he seemed, even in this throng, so solitary, somber, perhaps already feeling the weight of the world, even before he was transformed into the leader of the free world….The mass flickering of cell phone cameras on the Mall seemed like stars shining back at him.” — NBC’s Andrea Mitchell on the January 20 Nightly News. [MP3 Audio (0:33)]

Actually, it took only 11 months to “really absorb the significance of what happened to America” and it is still happening, Andrea. The republic is on the verge of receiving - how shall one put this politely and charitably? - a foaming tubesteak enema.

Tom Brokaw (62 points)
“You know what it [Obama’s inauguration] reminds me of? It reminds me of the Velvet Revolution. I was in Prague when that happened. And Vaclav Havel was a generational leader and was in the square in Prague and the streets were filled with joy. And we’re not overthrowing a communist regime here, obviously, but an unpopular President is leaving and people have been waiting for this moment.” — NBC’s Tom Brokaw during live coverage prior to Obama’s inauguration, January 20. [MP3 Audio (0:32)]

Strange how the new President is disliked by 56% of the electorate just 11 months into his first term of office. Stranger still that his agenda is bringing us closer to an authoritarian regime that the most wild-eyed Truther could never have supposed George Bush would have accomplished.

Carol Costello (23 points)
“It was a giant love-fest….When Barack Obama started to speak, I was right in the middle of the crowd. People were crying, they were laughing, they were cheering. Suddenly someone would just come up and hug you. It was just amazing. It was like you’re standing in the middle of these strangers, and all of a sudden you had a million friends around you. That’s what it felt like yesterday.” — CNN’s Carol Costello on the January 21 American Morning, recounting her experience at Obama’s inauguration. [MP3 Audio (0:28)]

People are crying today - but they aren’t laughing and they most certainly aren’t cheering. Most of them are occupied in very, very dark thoughts as they anticipate the arrival of their unemployment insurance checks. And those with extra cash are stocking up on firearms and ammunition.

How’s that Hope and Change working out for you Obamabots? Permit me to quote from a previous post (the bile is too deliciously bitter to pass up):

To those of you reading this who voted for Hope and Change but have, instead, been steamrolled by the consequences of your actions I want you to know that I delight in your misery. Truly I do. I want your life to be destroyed completely. I want you to lose everything you own: your home, your car, all your possessions. I want your families to be torn apart, heartbroken and utterly miserable. I want you to suffer in the humiliation and agony of utter, grinding poverty - reduced to subsisting on food stamps and government cheese and sleeping on a lumpy cot at the local homeless shelter.

And every night, when you lay your head upon that stained, feculant pillow I want you to repeat over and over again until you fall into a sleep that I hope is tormented by nightmares, “But this isn’t the change I voted for.”

Merry Christmas, you f&*%ing idiots.