Death to Hollywood Cliches!
Over at Big Hollywood - Breitbart’s new site - James Hudnall offers up excellent advice for Hollywood. I’ll excerpt it here, but the full article is well worth the read.
10 Cinematic Cliches That Must Die!
- The Crazed Vet/Soldier: According to Hollywood, if you’re a veteran who fought in a war or a soldier returning from one, you are insane, dangerous and probably a murderous sociopath.
- The Professional Bitch: For some reason, professional women have to hate men in Hollywood films and TV. They have to be cold, and smarter than men in every way.
- The Evil Christian: Hollywood seems to say that anyone who believes in Christianity is a sexual deviant, crook or a murderer.
- The Stupid Dad/Male: In Hollywood movies men are either stupid or gay. If they are straight, they’re almost always either buffoons, geeks or dumb jocks.
- The Magical Minority (aka “Magic Negro”): I’m sure you’ve seen a movie or three where some wise old Black/Asian/Native-American man/woman, who’s usually a janitor/maid/babysitter/garbage man, is a fountain of wisdom and always seems to know things.
- The Pedophile Priest: Similar to the Evil Christian except this is a huge fictional cliché . According to Hollywood, unless there’s a demon that needs exorcising, priests are all sanctimonious, corrupt child molesters. And often alcoholic ones at that.
- The Traditionalist Hypocrite: Anyone who stands for traditional values, or works in a traditionally male role, like a cop, fireman, cowboy is revealed to be a drunk, wife beater, or criminal.
- Evil Republicans: What a surprise. All Republicans in movies or TV are evil. They’re all trying to cheat the public, start unnecessary wars, take away civil rights and turn the country into a fascist dictatorship. And, of course, it’s saintly Democrats who save the day.
- Wise Trashy People: According to Hollywood: hookers, homeless and bizarre lifestyle people are the normal ones. They know what’s “really going on, man.”
- Flyover Losers: Hollywood says: Everyone in the middle or South of America are worthless, toothless, dumb-as-dirt, inbred hicks who may or may not be incestuous psycho killers who keep their deformed children chained in the basement and let them out to feed on any foolish coast dwellers who run out of gas near their house.
Barack the Magic Negro
Lives in D C
The L A Times they call him that
‘Cause he’s black but not authenticallyyyyyyy….
Couldn’t resist a little Shanklin.
*eats*
You hit that on the nail. When I worked in Montecito. I served at many parties for the Creepy Famous. There were some cool People. A lot are Republicans, but you don’t dare say a word. My ex boss is a Conservative. Famous Record Producer. His mom turned me on to Rush. She told me I reminded her of him and Beck. I listened to his show at their home. His mom and dad treated me as if I was their daughter. So did my boss and his wife. I raised their kids also. Was not a nanny at all. I was the Estate Manager, monitor watching, and delivering Master Tapes. There are some incredible Conservatives out there. Why won’t they stand up? Your list was very accurate. I have seen, and heard a lot. Most famous people make me sick. I had to serve and cook at 6 dinner parties for Jane Fonda. Trust me, I felt all the times like I wanted to puke on her. She is a egotistic, conceited and opinionated witch. The money though, and this is my greed. Was a lot of money. I never signed a waiver contract with her. So, I can say as I please.
AWESOMESAUCE.
*eats*
HEY EZRYBUDDY!!
While you’re over there, check out this article by Iowahawk, always awesome for a laugh:
I Pledge…
*can’t eat, laughing too hard*