And Now a Word From Our Sponsor - Update
Tired of the same old hot dog? Bland flavor? Baloney taste? Not sure what the hell the manufacturer put into the recipe? Then it’s time to step up to the plate and step away from Ballpark Franks®. It’s time to fold the umbrella on Sabrette Franks®. Forget about Nathan’s Famous® and, no, you DON’T want to be an Oscar Mayer® wiener. It’s time to trade up, my friends. It’s time for Barney Franks®.
Ah, yes…Barney Franks. Made from pure pork and lots of hot air in Barney’s favorite shape. Slap eight of these babies on the grill and in five minutes they’ll become firm and solid - just the way Barney likes them. Imagine wrapping your mouth around a Barney Frank and savoring all the deliciousness of this delightful tubesteak. It’s not for nothing that a fully plump Barney Frank is called “the Biggest Weenie on the Hill,” and I know that after tasting just one Barney Frank you’ll agree they are SIMPWY DEEWICIOUS!
UPDATE: I’m informed by Bill in Monmouth that our sponsor has decided to team up with the manufacturer of “Page Boy® Buns.” Ah yes, what better way to serve up your plump, juicy Barney Franks than to stick them into hot, soft, Page Boy Buns? Yes, indeed, folks: hot, soft Page Boy Buns are Barney’s favorite when he’s in the mood for outdoor grilling fun. So the next time you’re in the mood for plump, juicy Barney Franks, don’t forget to pull apart the Page Boy Buns and stick in a Barney Frank. Mmmmm…Page Boy Buns: a favorite on Capitol Hill since 1980. Simpwy Dewicious!
Available wherever stimulus money and sub-prime mortgages are distributed. Void where prohibited by the USDA or local sanitation laws.
GREAT NAME!
BAD product.
Boy, I’m a vegetarian after that.
To wash it down, nothin’ beats a tall, cold glass of Obama Kool Aid.
The bile is rising…
You owe me a new monitor!!!! and a prescription for Compazine.
So much for eating dinner tonight … I’m way too nauseated.
Didn’t I read about those in Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle”?
Serve ‘em up on some Senate bakery fresh Page Boy Buns!
kingsjester-
That book turned me off of meat for about 4 years in high school and college.
Tara Sue on November 23, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Yeah. It was a classic. I wonder if they even make kids read it anymore? Probably not.
Not anymore. “The Jungle” has obvious racist overtones.
It’s been replaced by “Heather Has Two Mommies,” after which the class sings in unison “My baloney has a first name and it’s B-A-R-N-E-Y…” followed by “Barack Hussein Obama…mmm mmm mmm…”
A closer inspection of the the ingredients list would have shown:
……………….Pork (Assholes and Lips)…………….
2 things with which Barney Franks are intimately intimate…
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!! and even ROFLOL!!!
(if there’s a LOL level beyond that, sign me up for it…)